I've decided to describe a few silly scenarios i've encountered over the course of the last few weeks:
A) When I lived with Hugo y Luz and feeling violently nauseous, I was patting my tummy telling Luz 'no me asiento bien' which means I don't feel well. She patted my tummy and stepped back with a flabbergasted look and exclaimed 'ayy gordita!' Apparently after losing 70lbs (31.8kg) I am still fat.
B) I am exceptionally tall for a female in the US and abnormally tall for a human being in Peru where the vast majority of the population is under 5'6. I needed a new pair of jeans as I dropped 3.5kg during my first week. First I bargained for a belt that I paid 10 soles for ($3.84) then proceeded to attempt find long pants. The only problem with this is that long pants don't exist in Peru. I then proceeded to try on Peruvian-length jeans which were no bueno. I was then measured with a tape ruler by the sales women who didn't believe I am 1.77 meters. I deserve some kind of award for being a freak show down here.
C) The people I meet down here are very interesting and have fascinating stories- when I can understand them speak. Nigel, a Scottish 30 something year old speaks with the a an accent so thick that I feel like I need to dilute it with some water. Bless his heart- he simply wants a friend but I cannot understand a damn thing he says. It also took me a while to understand my bar manager, Rob who is from Ireland. The th sound does not exist in their ability to pronounce words so he counts, 'one, two, tree' ,goes true the door, he tought of an idea, and tankfully isn't hungover. And then I giggle at him.
D) Turns out I'm a big heartbreaker. I've been known to make a friend, flirt a little, and then when they show up at my bar piss drunk hoping to get lucky, they're kicked out by our front desk receptionist/security man David and if they're angry enough- break door bells.
E) There's a ping pong table at the hostel. I grew up with a full size ping-pong table in my basement (which I don't publicly share). I love asking someone (usually a male) if he'd like to play. I ask to warm up, hit the ball lightly and high, just like a beginner. I tell them I'm warm after some rallies and then I come at them sneak attack style with my serve and proceed to blow their mind. It's pretty fun- until the guy's wife asks to play the winner and kicks my ass! This particular couple, Jessica and Tyler are from Atlanta and were the first Americans I met who stayed at The Point. They are adorable. They got married 4 months ago and are both heading back to school- Tyler is studying Law and Jessica is getting her MBA so they decided to have a nice adventure for a few weeks before hitting the books. They were asking me about bar tending and tip money and I explained that tipping is not customary and that I do not rely on tips at all for earning money. Shocked by this, Tyler handed me a $20 (yes, American bill) when I got off work. "I seriously cannot accept this" I truthfully told them. Tyler proceeded to tell me he understands my situation and that he and his new wife would be spending quite a lot of time in the bar and that the tip was for putting up with them. Turns out they were such a pleasure to serve and super friendly! I wish they hadn't left so soon.
Ta Ta for now.
P.S. I typed this whole entry while 'working'
